¡¡¡¡I¡¯ve been wrestling with why I am feeling the way I am for a while now. I should probably seek out someone with a nice comfy couch and start talking.
¡¡¡¡There is the off chance my feelings are normal and maybe you are thinking some of the same things.
¡¡¡¡For the last year and a half, I have been desperate for life to get back to normal, but now I am dragging my feet.
¡¡¡¡How many times have I thought about the freedom of getting out of the house and into concert halls, theatres and restaurants?
¡¡¡¡The thought of crossing the border again sounded like a dream.
¡¡¡¡Now, as we are hopefully headed to being fully vaccinated and the data shows society may eventually be ready to re-open, I find myself scared.
¡¡¡¡Of what? Everything.
¡¡¡¡When I hear other countries are opening up fully, I hear myself saying, ¡°No, too soon, too soon.”
¡¡¡¡I will feel pretty protected from COVID-19 once the majority of us have had our jabs.
¡¡¡¡Science tells us nothing is 100 per cent if you have received the shot, but still I don¡¯t think it’s really fear of the disease that has me paralyzed.
¡¡¡¡It is almost like I don¡¯t completely want to go back to ¡°normal.”
¡¡¡¡If I am completely honest the pandemic has been a fairly good excuse for not doing anything I don¡¯t want to do.
¡¡¡¡¡°Want to come to a potluck outside?¡±
¡¡¡¡¡°Oh gosh, I can¡¯t. I¡¯m not fully vaccinated.¡±
¡¡¡¡¡°Want to come to a party?¡±
¡¡¡¡¡°No can do ¡ª you are not my pod!¡±
¡¡¡¡¡°You want to get together for a visit?¡±
¡¡¡¡¡°Um, maybe you can just call me.¡±
¡¡¡¡What makes no sense is that I do want to see people and socialize and have meals together and go on road trips, but just not quite yet.
¡¡¡¡I fear what the first few public outings will be like.
¡¡¡¡Mask on or mask off? What will we talk about? Will I even remember how to make eye contact?
¡¡¡¡I already know there will be some things I will likely not be comfortable doing.
¡¡¡¡I would be fine going to the movies again, but I don¡¯t want to sit by strangers. (No offence.)
¡¡¡¡Buffet lines are a giant ¡°nope¡± for me.
¡¡¡¡Plane trips? I guess I¡¯ll be forced to do it, but how long can I hold my breath? All that togetherness freaks me right out.
¡¡¡¡A cruise ship? I adore the idea, but I can¡¯t help but think of it as a giant petri dish.
¡¡¡¡There¡¯s been a lot of surveys done suggesting that a high percentage of people ¡ª mostly those under 40 ¡ª do not want to return to a traditional office setting.
¡¡¡¡A new study by global staffing firm Robert Half shows one in three professionals currently working from home would actually quit and look for a new job if forced back to the office full-time.
¡¡¡¡Fifty-one per cent would prefer to continue to work from home or, if necessary, just do a couple of days in the office a week.
¡¡¡¡It will be interesting to see how companies manoeuvre what is sure to be a changed work landscape.
¡¡¡¡Let¡¯s face it. We have been given a year-and-a-half pass to dress down.
¡¡¡¡All-day pyjamas, slippers instead of shoes, no makeup, no hair styling ¡ª it has been both a blessing and a curse.
¡¡¡¡I have to really talk myself into making an effort when nobody is really going to see me. If I am going to do errands ¡ª with a mask on ¡ª how about I just wear mascara and leave the bottom half of my face naked?
¡¡¡¡So, maybe my fear of getting back on track is because I have become lazier than ever?
¡¡¡¡I¡¯m guessing the true fear is that we don¡¯t know what normal will look like at the end of 2021-22.
¡¡¡¡We¡¯ve had to shift and pivot in so many situations and some of it has actually worked for us.
¡¡¡¡Some have been more difficult.
¡¡¡¡But back to my original question: What am I afraid of?
¡¡¡¡I think I am petrified of who I will be at the end of it all.
¡¡¡¡Are we changed forever?
¡¡¡¡I think the answer is a giant group hug.
¡¡¡¡Oh, scratch that!